Not Winning - Apologizing

During the Emmy Awards last night, Charlie Sheen got up on stage and wished the cast of “Two and a Half Men” all the best next season. After the show, he was spotted talking to Ashton Kutcher. Being an insider, at one time, I can tell you that this stinks to high heaven of a publicist, manager or both telling Charlie that he must make nice or his career is kaput.

Charlie gave the bad boy booze hound bit a really good go before relenting. Call it a little bit of creative leash that cost him millions. He released a variety of rants and raves via UStream. He appeared on the top of a building waving a machete and drinking “tiger blood.” He coined the phrase “winning.” He even took to the stage to rant and rave, only to be subject to boos and hisses with the occasional bottle thrown at him. At some point, there was a conversation. Now whether this was a combo attack of lawyer, accountant, manager and publicist or if his PR firm just laid down the law, a conversation was had.  My mom used to make my sister apologize to kids by dragging them over to the kids’ house and apologizing to them and their parents. This was the look that I saw on Charlie Sheen’s face last night.  The only thing that was missing was shuffling feet and the occasional glance over to mommy publicist or daddy manager to check and see if he was doing everything right.

Now, just to make sure he takes his medicine, Charlie Sheen is being roasted! So now we get to make a big joke of all of this.  One thing I can say, Charlie looked much happier with his porn family than he did last night. Last night, he looked like he was in trouble and was being forced to apologize.  My two cents…

What do you think? Was Charlie’s “make nice” speech of his own volition? Shout back.

This blog was founded on Grammy night. As such, maybe its a point of personal nostalgia that I feel the compulsion from time to time to try to guess the winners of award shows. I have found, since I moved away from Southern California, that my predictions are increasingly inaccurate. Now I’m on the California/Nevada border, I wonder if this has changed anything. In fact, I was in California just yesterday. True, I was in Northern California and I was more concerned about tracking penalties at the Tahoe Derby Dames double-header than studying up on Prime-time television.

I thought I would give the predictions a go nonetheless.

My picks will be in green.  When the winner is announced, if I am correct, the pick/winner will remain green and will go bold.  If not, the winner will be in red and bolded.  As always, there will be commentary… plenty of commentary… and excuses if I’m wrong.

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Laura Linney, The Big C
Edie Falco. Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Melissa McCarthy, Mike and Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Tina Fey, 30 Rock

I realize a lot of people are picking Laura Linney, but I REFUSE to see The Big C as a comedy series. It’s about Cancer for God sakes and, in my opinion, its really not that funny unless you like laughing at Gabby Sidibe (Precious). I am still waiting for her to grab a bucket of fried chicken.

@CNNShowBiz Tweeted: “It’s kind of cute that the “Modern Family” hubby and wife Bowen and Burrell snagged the first two awards, yes?”  to which I responded @PopTwistMag “@CNNshowbiz Yes – Now all they need is a best husband and wife in a comedy series category and they can win that too. ”

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Steve Carell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Louis C.K., Louie
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

I suppose I should watch Modern Family, being that the show wins EVERYTHING.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

John Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family

What? The kid who plays the gay kid isn’t the funniest guy on TV? Well, I thought he was funny… at times.  Ok, mostly just a whiner.  Must watch Modern Family.

Comedy Series

Glee
Parks and Recreation
The Office
Modern Family
30 Rock
Big Bang Theory

Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Juliana Margulies, The Good Wife
Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law

I’d like to thank my mother-in-law, who is so addicted to this show, and every other senior citizen in the nation for making this pick come true.

Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Timothy Olyphant, Justified

For the record, I am REALLY torn between Timothy Olyphant and Hugh Laurie.  Michael C. Hall always does a great job in Dexter as well.  Tough category! My luck, none of the three won.

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Kelly MacDonald, Boardwalk Empire
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife

FINALLY! One of my picks hit!  If you didn’t see Margo Martindale as Mags Bennett in Justified. Watch this… She MADE last season!

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

John Slattery, Mad Men
Andre Braugher, Men of  a Certain Age
Walton Goggins, Justified
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife

The ahem… little person… from Nip/Tuck won!

Drama Series

Boardwalk Empire
The Good Wife
Mad Men
Friday Night Lights
Dexter
Game of Thrones

Lead Actress in a Mini-series or Movie

Kate Winslett, Mildred Pierce
Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey (Masterpiece)
Diane Lane, Cinema Verite
Taraji P. Henson, Taken From Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story
Jean Marsh, Upstairs Downstairs (Masterpiece)

Lead Actor in a Mini-series or Movie

Greg Kinnear, The Kennedys
Barry Pepper, The Kennedys
Edgar Ramiriz, Carlos
William Hurt, Too Big to Fall
Idris Elba, Luthur
Lawrence Fishburne, Thurgood

Supporting Actress in a Mini-series or Movie

Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce
Melissa Leo, Mildred Pierce
Mare Winningham, Mildred Pierce
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey (Masterpiece)
Eileen Atkins, Upstairs Downstairs (Masterpiece)

Supporting Actor in a Mini-series or Movie

Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Brian F. O’ Byrne, Mildred Pierce
Tom Wilkinson, The Kennedys
Paul Giamatti, Too Big to Fail
James Woods, Too Big to Fail

Mini-series or Movie

Mildred Pierce
Downton Abbey, Masterpiece
The Kennedys
Cinema Verite
Too Big to Fail
The Pillars of the Earth

Variety Music or Comedy Series

The Colbert Report
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Saturday Night Live
Conan
Real Time with Bill Maher
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Reality Competition Program

So You Think You Can Dance
The Amazing Race
Project Runway
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Top Chef

Host for a Reality or a Reality Competition Program (Yes… that is the title… no typos… LOL)

Jeff Probst, Survivor
Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Tom Bergeron, Dancing with the Stars
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol

Drawn Together said it best. Princess Clara: “Look, everyone! It’s that asshole Jeff Probst!”

Whoo… 3 out of 18. Then again, I claim that I do things a little differently than the mass market. So if you buy into the fact that the Emmy’s award mass market favorites (and people who buy the Emmy) I guess I have a lot of credibility.

Who did you pick?  Shout back! And yeah, I missed a few nominees and picks.  Blame the Emmy Web site.

I'm Sexy and I Know it - Don't You, Leno?

The New York Times reported last year, “while audiences for Mr. Leno have increased more than 50 percent from Mr. O’Brien’s average, the median age for “Tonight Show” viewers has jumped more than 10 years, to 56 years old, in the wake of the departure of the host NBC had once designated to be the future of late night.” So the boomers may have had a mass coronary attack when LMFAO performed their song “Sexy and I Know It” on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

No, it’s not because this is the crazy music “the kids are listening to.”  Red Foo starts out by ripping off his shiny blue short to reveal a shiny, ball-hugger, blue Speedo.  Not to be outdone, Sky Blu rips of his pants to reveal red underwear with a very long, very red, appendage. RED ROCKET! RED ROCKET!  Combine this with a bevy of “wiggle wiggle wiggle” from the duo and their dancers and you have a very um…. titillating performance, even for late night.

The real shocker at the end was the “handshake” Leno gave Sky Blu… shaking his red appendage.  Ooooh Leno… you are making some baby boomers hot tonight.

In case you need a reminder….

FEZ                           

Fabulous Fez

WILMER VALDERRAMA

Wilmer Valderrama on the set of the new LMFAO video

Wilmer, you may still have a funny first name, but you grew up just right. I can’t wait to see that music video. You might just compete with a shirtless Red Foo in a Speedo.

Remember when Fez tried to act sexy? Now Wilmer can really pull it off.

Can we just call you Will?

#1: Beyoncé Takes a Header

When you whip your hair back and forth, watch out for the stairs.

Celebrities falling on stage is nothing new. But, Beyoncé, you fell off the stage with such style! The concert was in Orlando and, as usual, Beyoncé was singing her heart out. She was whipping her hair back and forth, before Willow Smith made it a song, when she overstepped the stairs and fell down not one, not four, but more than eight steps. Ouch!  Beyoncé got up and kept singing like nothing had happened. I’m not sure if this blunder makes her human or superhuman. But you have to give the girl respect for her toughness.

#2: Beyoncé Exposes Herself

Just Moments Before Beyonce's Boobs Do a Solo

Flashing is a blunder that always makes the news, whether you are as planned as Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl or as clueless as Tara Reid on the red carpet. Beyoncé flashed her twins at a concert in Toronto. Appropriately enough, she was singing Deja Vu and shaking her money-maker when her dress opened and Beyoncé displayed what the good Lord gave her in all its full frontal glory. I can’t even go to the gym without a bra. I don’t know how she can dance like that with no protection for those ta-tas.

#3: Beyoncé  Comes Out About Snot Bubbles

All You Single Ladies, Be Proud of Your Snot Bubbles

As if falling and flashing wasn’t a grand enough display of Beyoncé’s dedication on stage for you, try snot bubbles on for size. She came out about the snot bubbles to the media, saying: “My nose runs a lot and when I’m singing I can’t blow it, so there have been occasions when I’ve ended up with a ‘bubble’ coming out my nose.” Fans responded with adoration. Why not? Babies blow snot bubbles and its cute. Beyoncé does ANYTHING and it’s adorable.

Happy 30th Birthday Beyoncé.  Remember the 30s are the new 20s. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Inspiring Statement LiLo. Your second grade English teacher, however, would be mortified.

Today, TMZ released images of Lindsay Lohan showing off her new tattoo. What not-so-young, legal-problem plagued, washed up starlet doesn’t rush to the nearest camera to show off her new tattoo?  This tat, which is supposed to represent the clarity of mind, body and spirit LiLo is experiencing, does have an inspiring statement.

However, as she emerges from her alcohol and drug-induced days, rips off Billy Joel’s lyrics and slaps them permanently on her body, she seems to have forgotten her second grade English class.

The tattoo reads:

Clear as a crystal sharp as a knife
I feel like I’m in the prime of my life

Properly punctuated, it should read:

Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife,
I feel like I’m in the prime of my life.

Two commas and one period are missing from Lindsay Lohan’s tattoo. That leaves this cynical writer thinking, are the missing commas symbolism of the two times (minimum) she should have paused to think before drinking, popping or stealing something?  Could the missing period represent the end of something? Or, has LiLo simply forgotten proper punctuation? Shout back.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Jeff Bridges in “True Grit”
Winner: Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech”

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Christian Bale in “The Fighter”
Winner: Christian Bale in “The Fighter”

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”
Winner: Natalie Portman in “Black Swan”

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”
Winner: Melissa Leo in “The Fighter”
BLEEEEEEEEP!  Poor girl forgot there’s an FCC.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

“Toy Story 3″
Winner: “Toy Story 3″

ART DIRECTION

“Inception”
Winner: “Alice in Wonderland”

CINEMATOGRAPHY

“Inception”
Winner: “Inception”

COSTUME DESIGN

“Alice in Wonderland”
Winner: “Alice in Wonderland”

DIRECTING

“Black Swan” Darren Aronofsky
Winner: “The King’s Speech” Tom Hooper

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)

“Exit Through the Gift Shop” Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz
Winner: “Inside Job”

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT)

“Killing in the Name” Jed Rothstein
Winner: “Strangers No More”

FILM EDITING

“127 Hours” Jon Harris
Winner: “The Social Network” Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

“Biutiful” Mexico
Winner: “In a Better World” Denmark

MAKEUP

“The Wolfman”
Winner: “The Wolfman”

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)

“The Social Network” Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Winner: ”The Social Network” Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
It deeply amuses me how some composers are totally up in arms about this.

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)

“We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3″ Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
Winner: “We Belong Together”

BEST PICTURE

“True Grit” Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
Winner: “The King’s Speech”

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)

“The Lost Thing” Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
Winner: “The Lost Thing”
Ummm… can’t… focus on anything else but Mila’s boobs.  Were there nominees?  Did mine get picked?

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)

“The Confession” Tanel Toom
Winner: “God of Love”

SOUND EDITING

“True Grit” Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey
Winner: “Inception”

SOUND MIXING

“True Grit” Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland
Winner: “Inception”

VISUAL EFFECTS

“Inception” Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb
Winner: “Inception”

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

“True Grit” Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Winner: “The Social Network”

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

“The Fighter”
Winner: “The King’s Speech”

FINAL: “The Social Network” pulled through but, although long and very British, “The King’s Speech” took top honors.  I was below 50% this year, further proof I need to move back home to California.

Well, that’s all for tonight!

10 right/14 wrong

41.6% accuracy

Daniel Tosh, listen up. You may have already done a national anthem screw up web redemption, but consider this.  Next year, during the Super Bowl, Christina Aguilera gets a LIVE web redemption.

For those who missed the national anthem before the big game, Christina Aguilera completely forgot the ramparts line in “The Star Spangled Banner.”  She was busy making the song her own when she skipped the line, some not noticing… most shaking their heads with embarrassment.  The net lit up with polarized comments.  She was nervous… some defended. Others, declared it unforgivable to mess up our national anthem.

February 1, Tosh.0, a popular America’s Funniest YouTube Videos show, gave a girl who messed up on the national anthem a web redemption – a chance to make right what she got wrong so many years ago.  She wasn’t even at the Super Bowl.

Just in case you need a refresher… here are the full lyrics to ” The Star Spangled Banner.” Christina, you should have sang the bold part.

The Star Spangled Banner Lyrics
By Francis Scott Key 1814

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

So Tosh… consider it, Super Bowl 2012…

Events like this make me miss living in Los Angeles… A LOT!  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved bringing you the inside scoop on what is fake on Ma’s Roadhouse direct from Dallas, Texas.  But Los Angeles is where my heart is.  Any volunteers to cover this event for me???

REALITY ROCKS EXPO™ ANNOUNCES ONLINE VOTING FOR FIRST EVER FAN-BASED REALITY TV AWARDS

ABC, BBC World Wide, Nick Cannon, E! Entertainment Television, The History Channel, ENDEMOL, WE tv, Wedding Central and Reveille Join Honorary Advisory Committee

LOS ANGELES, October 28, 2010—In a digitally-democratic move to let viewers declare their loyalty, today Reality Rocks Expo™ launches online voting for the first ever fan-voted reality, factual and lifestyle television awards that will be announced during Reality Rocks Expo™ on April 9-10, 2011 at the Los Angeles Convention Center.  From now through November 30^th, 2010, fans can visit www.realityrocks.net to vote for their favorite reality television shows that aired from September 2009 through September 2010.

Whether to delight in the drama of life as a Kardashian or awe at the dangers of confronting whalers, viewers tuned in to over 400 reality shows in the last year.  Reality Rocks Expo™ now offers a forum for fans to deliver their fiercest devotion yet.  This awards program is more than just a popularity contest.  The fans themselves are encouraged to participate, too.  Beginning today, by registering at www.realityrocks.net, fans are able to:

• Create their own, personally branded fan page
• Vote for their favorite shows.
• Converse with other reality television fans, show celebs, hosts and judges
• Upload videos and photos

Fans will also have a shot at their own award and prizes.  “The Fireball Fan Award” will be presented to the fan with the most active and dedicated fan page.  The winner will receive two free coach class, round-trip tickets to Los Angeles for the Reality Rocks Expo™, two nights hotel and VIP All Access Pass.  Five runners up “Fireball Fans“ will receive complimentary “All Access VIP Badges” to Reality Rocks Expo™.  Everyone who registers to vote at www.realityrocks.net will have a chance to win one of 100 free registration tickets to the event.

Once voting concludes on November 30^th, 2010, the top 75 reality/factual and lifestyle television shows selected by the fans will move to a second round of voting by category and genre, including: Favorite Female Personality; Favorite Villain; Best Host of Science Reality; and Favorite Food Competition, to name a few.  The second round of voting will begin in January 2011 and will run through March, with the final awards being presented at the on-site Reality Rocks Awards.

Adding their names to the growing list of honorary advisory committee members supporting the Reality Rocks Expo™ are some of reality television’s most influential movers and shakers, including: Cris Abrego, Co-Founder and Executive Producer of 51 Minds; Orly Adelson, President of Dick Clark Productions; Thom Beers, CEO and Executive Producer of Original Productions; Pierre Brogan, Agent, Television and Alternative for Creative Artists Agency; Jason Burinescu, Vice President of Development for Intuitive Entertainment; Nick Cannon, Host of America’s Got Talent; Shaleen Desai, Head of Alternative Programming for BBC Worldwide; Damla Dogan, Vice President Original Programming and Series Development for E! Entertainment Television; Tanya Hekimian, VP, Development for September Films USA; Corie Henson, Vice President Alternative Series and Specials for ABC Entertainment; Eli Holzman, President of Studio Lambert; Mark Koops, Managing Director at Reveille; Matt Kunitz, Creator, Executive Producer Wipeout for Endemol USA; David McKillop, SVP of Development and Programming at the History Channel; Theresa Patiri, Vice President Production Management and Operations for WE tv Networks; SallyAnn Salsano, Founder and President of 495 Productions; Jill Schwartz, SVP, Programming Development for Fox Television Studios; and Troy Searer, Founding Partner and CEO of Tijuana Entertainment.

The full list of honorary advisors can be found at www.realityrocks.net. For real-time updates visit:

• Website:        http://www.realityrocks.net
• Facebook:     http://www.facebook.com/pages/Reality-Rocks/135737633123783?ref=ts
• Twitter:         https://twitter.com/RealityRocks
• Flickr:           http://www.flickr.com/people/51854651@N03/
• YouTube:     http://www.youtube.com/user/realityrocksexpo
• Myspace:: http://www.myspace.com/541936918

About Reality Rocks Expo™

Reality Rocks Expo™, is the first and only comprehensive, live fan-based happening that brings the invaluable world of avid and loyal viewers of Reality TV together in an up close and personal setting with their favorite reality, factual, and lifestyle shows, celebrities, hosts and judges networks and producers. The ultimate Realty TV fan experience, Reality Rocks Expo is about the fans, for the fans and by the fans.  The inaugural edition of Reality Rocks Expo will be held April 9-10, 2011 at the Los Angeles Convention Center in Los Angeles, CA.  Reality Rocks Expo™ is a production of Prometheus Global Media, a diversified company with leading assets in the media and entertainment arenas, including: Music (Billboard and its related conferences and events, including The Billboard Latin Music Awards), Entertainment (The Hollywood Reporter, Backstage, ShoWest, ShowEast, Cineasia, and Cinema Expo International); and Advertising & Marketing (Adweek, Mediaweek, Brandweek, Adweek Conferences, and The Clio Awards).  Official media sponsors for Reality Rocks include GotCast.com and RealityWanted.com.

If you’ve seen the GEICO Xtranormal TV Spot, you know why I had to to make the movie below.

Badger Girl confronts Broccoli Man about the GEICO commercial.

I’ll write more about it tomorrow.